Written by J.K. Muhammad
1. If your mom isn’t already one of your dearest and closest confidants; she might just become that.
You will find yourself talking to your mom more now than you ever have. Most people vow to never let outsiders in their bedroom, but that recovery after having a baby IS TOO REAL. As grown as you might be, you may need help just to get in the shower, walking up a set of stairs, or making a meal. The journey through motherhood is real so it is okay to cry and be sad, but the key is to not give up. Sometimes you just need, and still need, that push everyday without judgment, and mom might just be the one you always find yourself turning to.
2. Personal Hygiene will become more of a luxury, and less of a necessity.
There are days where taking a shower is the only break you may have from baby, and that shower might only lasts for 8 minutes. That shower may not even be used to clean, but to just stand empty handed. It might be the only time where you aren’t attached to anything, your personal space isn’t being invaded, and you have free space to think. That freedom may not last long, but it most certainly feels good, so do yourself a favor and count the small wins because they matter.
3. Once the baby arrives, you’re in your fourth trimester.
Yes the baby is here, but they aren’t the only ones that have to adjust. Baby is learning life outside the womb, and you are relearning life with baby. Making sure that you are eating and sleeping enough are key. It may seem hard to not neglect yourself, and things like remembering to make a meal for yourself may seem impossible, but continue to take care of you just as if you were still pregnant.
4. Motherhood will change your entire outlook on life in an instant, which can actually be pretty scary. The closest experience to death itself should be rewarded and remembered at all costs. You see women that pause their lives to raise children, in which some may look at the notion as being stupid…until you become one of them, and you soon realize that all heroes don’t wear capes. Once you are home with baby day in and day out, you quickly understand that the stay at home moms truly do make the greatest of sacrifices.
5. Some friendships will be made and some friendships will fade.
Life gets real when you are responsible for another human being outside of yourself. Spoiler alert: You may not see those same friends as much as you once did. At times you may feel like you are walking this very unpaved path alone. Being a new mom can mean that sometimes it may feel like life stopped has for you, and it kept going for those around you. Now this might not always be the case, but the cool thing about change is that it doesn’t always have to be scary. Acknowledge it, embrace it, and adapt because life gets better!
6. You will have to work harder to keep your relationships afloat.
Whether you are in a relationship, or plan to be in one, being a mom is a full time job with no paid time off and no sick days. After spending all day with a baby, most times you want nothing more than to lay in bed quietly, just to have a moment to yourself doing absolutely nothing. Cooking dinner for your spouse, or having date night sometimes becomes an after thought. The key is to try to make time. That time might be around 3:30am when the baby is sleeping and you have insomnia, but it’s quality time and conversation nonetheless.
7. If you don’t leave the house for a week, it’s totally okay.
Missed appointments, oatmeal for dinner, and sweatpants all week can sometimes be your reality, and no one can judge you for it. Refusing to drive unless someone can ride with you for the sake of not having to hear a crying baby in the backseat is totally normal, and for anyone says it’s not is a liar.
8. Your sense of sound will be like a superpower.
You’ll be able to hear your baby whine and cry from distances you weren’t able to hear from before. You’ll even hear his cries when he isn’t crying. Go figure.
9. No one will know your baby like you do.
Pretty self explanatory. You spend all your hours with your child, so no one knows them better than you. People will try to tell you what’s wrong with your child and tell you “oh he’s just hungry,” but be comforted knowing #TheyDontKnow.
10. Some days you will feel like crap. And sometimes that will last for consecutive days.
There may be days where you wish you didn’t have to come in the house because you know once the threshold is crossed; work starts; and who knows when a break will be given. There are days where you want to scream at the top of your lungs just because, and there are days where you just cry in the shower because you are living in uncharted territory and you don’t like it. It’s okay not to love your new life 90 days in. It’s okay that you want to give up but you haven’t given up. And it’s fine that you feel like you’re the only one going through it cause others aren’t talking about it; but always remember that you’re not alone, and it might not seem like in the present moment, but it really does get better.