Written by Michelle X
Ronald Regan once said, “When a child loses a parent, they’re called an orphan. When a spouse loses a partner, they’re called a widow or widower. When parents loses their child or children, their isn’t a word to describe them.”
It is said that 1 out of 4 women will experience a Pregnancy or Infant Loss. When I began to research and study and talk to more women, I realized so many things. So many women had and still are suffering in silence. Many women were “hushed” and told to just move on with life and that it will just happen when it’s suppose to. Plenty of women were told God had something else planned for their babies. There were also many women that experienced this unknowingly?
I decided to use my own experience with loss to help anyone that I could, with any chance that can get , to share my experience with unexpectedly losing my first born at 19 weeks pregnant. I share it because I know with the help of Allah(God), I was able to grieve, heal and grow from and with my loss and with that I encourage other Mothers and Fathers of loss to know that they are not alone! This world takes pregnancy and infant loss and places it on its own little island when in fact it needs to be apart of the daily conversation. We are losing our babies especially as black women at an alarming rate! We are losing our babies twice the amount of white women for various reasons! But why aren’t we talking about this?!?
I know everyone’s loss, grief and healing won’t look like mines and that’s perfectly okay, it’s not suppose to. But I just want someone else to know you aren’t alone, nor do you have to suffer alone. Your feelings are valid, your grief is real, allow yourself to heal and process as needed. And maybe just one day, when you feel the courage in your heart, you will speak and share your story so that someone else may hear you and discover, they are not alone!
May we forever and always remember our babies who were gone far too soon.